On Easter I played Abide With Me, Tis Eventide. The words come from Luke 24, where Jesus’ disciples were walking on the road to Emmaus following Jesus’ death. A stranger (who is actually the resurrected Jesus) begins walking with them, and the disciples tell him how devastated they were. How all their hopes and dreams of redemption had been shattered with Jesus’ death, or so it seemed. Jesus tries to explain to them, through scripture, that this Jesus of Nazareth actually had fulfilled the expectations of the prophesied Messiah. Eventually the disciples reach their destination and ask Jesus to abide with them, since it was getting late. He agrees, and then breaks bread and blesses it with them, and only then do they realize who he is, and they question why they didn’t realize it sooner, since they had felt their hearts burn while he talked with them and shared scripture with them.
This story and song pattern my feelings as of late with the Savior. There are many times that I have asked Jesus to abide with me because I’m overwhelmed with darkness and seemingly unmet expectations. I wonder how often he IS there, walking with me and teaching me, but I’m not recognizing him.
I recently saw a thought by a woman who lost her husband about a year ago. She was sharing about how she has seen glimpses of his hand in the details of her life. Someone questioned how could she know that it was her husband influencing that moment? She said that she has to find hope in every single way possible, and when a solution appears suddenly in a moment of stress, she believes that is absolutely her angel in the details of her life. And if it's not? She said she still has every right to believe that it is.
This past year as I've been looking for where God is in my story, I've recognized moment after moment of providence, where friends have stepped in right when I needed them, or I came across a message that was exactly what I needed to hear. I can't prove that these experiences are from God, but I'm choosing to believe that they are. And if they're not? I still have every right to believe that. What I do know is that when I live as though God is present in my life, I feel more empowered and full of peace.
I hope that Christ's atonement will allow all our expectations to be met eventually. My continued hope and prayer is that I WILL recognize Jesus in my life more, and that he will abide with me.
Here's a video (it's supposed to be black--audio only) of me playing Abide With Me, Tis Eventide.
